Celebrating NCLM 2025: A Care-Experienced Perspective on the Power of Positive Relationships and the Need for Ongoing Support.
Studies have shown that safe, stable relationships greatly help young people in care to build attachment, enhance their wellbeing, develop self-confidence, self-esteem, and resilience, in addition to helping them rebuild trust in adults.
As outlined in the recent Independent Review of Children’s Social Care, the government’s manifesto for supporting vulnerable children and young people across the UK, loving and stable relationships must be at the heart of the system.
To learn more about the power and influence of these positive relationships, tri.x spoke with Sophie, a care leaver from Bristol, about her experience of care and her thoughts on how we can create a system in which young people in care are able to maintain the positive relationships they build with professionals and individuals once they leave.
Sophie, Care Leaver
Sharing her care experience, Sophie said:
“I didn’t have a bad experience of care; it was all good. I had the opportunity to travel the world to places such as Canada, Lapland, Spain, France, and Greece. Every holiday was a celebration, so Christmas, birthdays, and even Halloween were big. Towards the end of my care experience, it was less positive, but that was due to the changes I was going through in my life, not the care I was receiving.”
Entering care due to neglect and substance abuse from her birth parents, Sophie credits the relationships she formed in care with making it so positive for her. Having joined her first carer alongside her two brothers in 2006, this relationship has been long-lasting. 
“My first carer was out of this world. She was purely one-to-one and looked after me and my brothers. I was with her the longest, but after going through a rebellious stage, I was relocated to Devon, which was a struggle for me. If I could change anything, I wish I had stayed with my first carer longer than I did because I feel my life would have been completely different; for example, I wouldn’t have moved to Devon, and I possibly wouldn’t have hit certain bad points in my life.
Even after all these years, Sophie remains in contact with her first carer.
“I think the reason we have stayed in touch has largely been down to our relationships being very strong. We always had this bond, and she was the perfect carer for me and my brothers.”
The care system can often make it difficult for young people to form and maintain relationships due to frequent changes in home, school, social workers, and sometimes geographical location. Originally living in Bristol, Sophie moved to Devon when she was around 12–13 years old, after it became difficult for her carer to keep her safe. Living in Bristol meant Sophie was near her father, and she would sometimes miss school to spend time with him. She also admits she went missing for a while.
Having experienced a few social workers during her time in care, Sophie reflects on one social worker who has stood the test of time and remains in contact with her to this day. This social worker is Ros Wilson, who previously worked as a senior social worker (SSW) at Bristol City Council for 14 years.
“To this day, I still say that Ros was the best social worker we have ever had. When I tell people the length of time Ros was our social worker, they are shocked, as it is not that common. I spoke about this with my partner, as he went through the same care situation, and he never had a social worker for longer than a year.”
For many children and young people who enter care, remembering core memories of their childhood can be difficult, and they often rely on those who have been present in their lives to help retrieve this information. While children and young people can apply to access their files, many do not; being able to contact core individuals from their childhood can help answer important questions for care leavers.
“To have these strong relationships for that many years has been a real asset in my life. All these relationships have worked for me; they always had my best interests at heart, and maybe at times I didn’t realise that. When you go into care, you don’t know the full picture. I thought my birth parents were angels and felt the services were trying to split us up, but over time I have grown to realise that this is not the case.”
The question of whether a social worker or independent visitor should maintain relationships with care leavers post-18 is up for debate. However, with the average age of a child leaving home being roughly 25 years old, for children in care this drops to 18. 
“If anything, more support should be provided to care leavers aged 21 to 25 because you have more support when you are younger. Debts and other adult issues arise more often in the older ages.”
Leaving home is a worry for anyone, but research has shown that while those turning 18 worry about everything from moving out to paying bills, the number one concern is loneliness. For many children and young people who have gone through care, there may have been a number of adverse experiences over the years. Having a strong support network that has been there throughout their childhood can have a huge impact on their lives moving forward, helping them achieve the best outcomes in adulthood. Sophie’s story is testament to this and highlights the importance of ongoing, trustworthy relationships to young people. 
“I wasn’t supported to live with anyone important to me; it may have been due to my circumstances at the time, but when a care leaver doesn’t have suitable family members, it’s hard to re-establish that connection. None of my social networks that I formed whilst in care were helped towards my adulthood. I approached social workers myself. I feel it is very important to keep any social networks, as transitioning into adulthood can be very lonely.”
Currently, guidance is placed on local authorities to make care leavers aware that they can continue to request Personal Adviser support as soon as possible after they turn 21, and on at least an annual basis thereafter. 
“I was signed off quite quickly, so I only had a chance to talk about my plans and wishes, without the success of pursuing it. I was also at an age where I was a little bit confused as to what I wanted to do exactly, so I had different wishes a lot of the time due to not having much guidance on what I was good at.”
The government guidance Extending Personal Adviser Support to All Care Leavers to Age 25: Statutory Guidance for Local Authorities (February 2018) highlights that at this stage of their lives, young adults’ needs will vary considerably. Some may need considerable continuing support with transition, whilst others will not take up the offer.
Sarah, a colleague, says:
“It is great to be aware of the difference in young adults’ needs. I think if more suitable continuing support is offered to care leavers before or during transition, they should want it more. Individuals who refuse the offer of support may simply want to be out of the system as soon as possible. This can happen through family/friend influences or just wanting to feel free. It should still be offered a few more times, especially when support from the local authority has stopped; they may feel lonely and just accept help from people they recognise.”
Sophie concludes:
“There should be no time limit on a care leaver’s needs. We are all human. Growing up without parental support is the toughest thing, and when it comes to being an adult, it’s even tougher having to navigate the big world when all you’ve known is the system. Support goes a very long way when someone is already feeling lost transitioning from foster care.”